Used to have a piggy bank, but now I got that bigger bank.

And oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive and oh, I can fly, I can fly, I can fly and oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive and I'm lovin' every second, minute, hour, bigger, better, stronger, power. I got that power, I got that power, I got that power, power, power, power. They call me Will-A, stay so cool I'm chilly, I done made that milli on my way to that billi. Used to have a piggy bank, but now I got that bigger bank. Who who cares what the haters think? They hatin' on me cause we doin' what they can't. I stay on that hustle, I flex that little muscle. Hate to bust your bubble, I'm on that other level. I'mma take it higher and high, high and higher.I stay and buy attire, keep burnin' like that fire. Y-y-y-yes y'all, feelin' funky fresh y'all work to be the best y'all work good under pressure. Been through all that stress y'all get this off my chest y'all made it out them projects with this project, that's progress y'all. I did it for my momma, I told her when I was younger that I'mma be that number one, yup I'll be that number 1. I take it higher and high, high and higher. I stay and buy attire, keep burnin' like that fire.

In the song Mr. Adams informs us that whilst he used
to own a piggy bank, his curent bank is much larger.

Whatever doesn't kill ya only makes you stronger, so I'mma get stronger. Comin' like a battle ram, battle ram, I'm knockin'-knockin' down the door again, door again. Comin' like a battle ram, battle ram, I'm knockin'-knockin' down the door again, door again and I'm lovin' every second, minute, hour, bigger, better, stronger, power and I'm lovin' every second, minute, hour, bigger, better, stronger, power

Now, I know the above reads like the scribblings of a mad man, like what you expect to find scrawled into the back of a maths book before the owner shows up with a gun and shoots up his high school. 

But, believe it or not it isn't. It was actually written by someone who is not only allowed out in public but abuses this privilege to never get off our bloody telly screens. Yes, this is the latest creation by the man who insists we call him Will.I.Am! And, just in case anyone thought this song had any credibility, he's recorded it with everyone's favourite teenage moody twat:- Justin Bieber!!

And whilst we're on the subject William,
it's about time you dressed like an adult too!

William Adams (and that's what I'm going to call him because he's 38 for fuck's sake! It's time he has a grown-up's name!) has decided that this song should be called "That Power" but instead of doing that by using the words "That Power", he has made a feeble attempt to be hip and trendy but using "#thatPOWER". Except that it's not actually an attempt to be hip and trendy (well not hip anyhow) but it's to get the song all trendy on twitter in a cold, calculated marketing ploy!

And annoyingly, it's also allowed him to, in interviews with Scott Mills and Jonathan Ross, say "the hashtag is silent!" 

OH DO SHUT UP!!

What annoys me most about William is not that he's a self-obsessed media whore, it's not this stupid song he's written, it's not all the stupid songs he's written since going solo, it's not the last two albums of stupid songs he wrote as a member of the Black Eyed Peas. None of these bother me (well that's not true, they all bother me loads) but what bothers me most of all is that he co-wrote two brilliant albums with the Black Eyed Peas. It's bad enough when someone talentless smears bullshit all over my radio but it's much worse when someone who evidently has talent does it.

The Black Eyed Peas did some incredible songs. There first two albums (by which I mean the first two from when Fergie joined and they became famous) were brilliant. Monkey Business was a particular beauty and remains, to this day, one of my favourite ever albums. Seriously, go listen to it - it's brilliant!

So why oh why oh why, Mr. William Adams, have you wasted this talent in creating this formulaic fake gruel  It pisses me write off!

But don't worry there are a number of "artists" who're making songs that make me despair for modern music equally:

•  David Guetta ft. Ne-Yo & Akon - Play Hard. I generally like David Guetta, he's made some good stuff. The same can not be said, however, for Ne-Yo or Akon. And this particular song is one of the most irritating songs for a while. It features a sample from a great techno song called "Better off alone" by Alice DJ. Unfortunately, in this you hear the techno beat gasping for air as it is smothered by posers sing really quite awfully. It's painful.
• Chris Brown - Fine China. This is the latest in a long line of terrible songs. He's the only man with a career that benefited from being a girl beater. And he can't sing. Bellend.
• Iggy Azalea - Work. This stupid girl is everything that's wrong with the music industry because they're trying to sell a story rather than a song. Iggy is from Australia and decided to do something really stupid and move, on her own, to Miami at the age of sixteen to make it as an MC. And this song is all about how she had to scrub floors and work so hard to "make it". EXCEPT, SHE HASN'T MADE IT YET, THIS IS HER FUCKING DEBUT SINGLE!! And it would seem that this infuriating piece of shit has been plucked by the record labels to sell the story rather than actually making a good song which would prove she had enough talent to make her risk worth it.

Anyway, those are just a few examples. Don't worry there are many, many more! 

You may have noticed that all the ones that I've picked up on come loosely under the umbrella term of "hip-hop" and you may, therefore, conclude that that's what I don't like. Actually, I quite like hip-hop. It's just these songs aren't really hip-hop. They're what happens when cold suits try to take hip-hop and profit from it! If you wan't to hear real hip-hop, check out Scroobius Pip's radio show "The Beatdown" - Saturday nights, midnight, XFM. Then you'll hear some real hip-hop.

(Obviously, no-one's actually up at midnight to you can listen again here.)

This is Scroobius Pip. He's way cooler than
William Adams but doesn't feel need to dress/ act like he worries about it.
I guess he doesn't but you'd have to ask him.

And while I'm at it, there is a lot of music I'm loving right now. Check out Chris Malinchack, Daft Punk, Jake Bugg, Macklemore, Rudimental, Vampire Weekend (well the song "Diane Young", the rest is shit) & Disclosure! There are others that haven't immediately jumped to mind.

Anyway, that's what I think.

Have a good time people and follow me on twitter @RussellLParker

I haven't fact checked anything in this blog but then it isn't intended to be taken seriously, obviously!